The Way I See You
by Nimnom
Summary: An Laley AU fic. What you should know: Set in Lucas and Haleys junior year of high school they dont know eachother, Dan and Karen are married, Lucas lives with them. Same old Luke and Haley but in different situations.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1  
  
People are interesting.  
  
I've always thought so. I get a certain amount of entertainment out of watching people. Don't you ever just find yourself wondering where a person in a hurry is headed? Or what a person deep in concentration is thinking?  
  
I always wonder. Brooke can't stand that about me. She's always telling me I think too much. It's probably true. Brooke is kinda my girlfriend. I say kinda because at any given time one of us is always unsure what we mean to the other.  
  
She's nice. She's very beautiful and sexy and funny. She's just nice. My whole life is nice. I live in a nice house with a nice family. I have nice friends and I used to get nice grades. Is it just me, or does nice start to sound like mince after a while? Never mind. It's just me.  
  
But y'know what? That paragraph you just read? All of the above? Yeah, that's just what other people see my life as. I know I should count myself luckier then some but check this out. My family isn't all that nice…in fact they kinda suck. My father always succeeds in making me feel like the biggest loser in the world. My mom loves me and I know it, but she's weak. Especially when it comes to dad.  
  
My friends. Well their ok I guess. In fact if a top spot in the social hierarchy is what you're after, try and give them a call. They love me, of course they do. I'm the star of the basketball team. I'm dating the hottest girl in school. I throw killer parties. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me? They are the group that exude the confidence and boldness in Tree Hill High. But the truth is, it's all an act. They're just as lost and insecure as every other teenager in the school. For most of them it's a battle everyday- to stay in "the group" I mean. Step one foot out of line, wear one piece of unfashionable clothing, say one word that someone bigger than you doesn't approve of and you're out.  
  
Cut down your friends, laugh along with the crowd, scramble to the top of the pile-it doesn't matter who you step on. Do whatever you can to make yourself appear cooler then the next person. Those are the rules. I'm scared of it to be honest. I'm scared I'm turning into one of them. What if I turn around one day and I'm just as judgemental and mean as the next popular jock? I loathe the thought.  
  
And my grades? Now there's something I'd rather not talk about. I had it all sussed in grade school. I could hack it. I could get a good grade without even trying. I've always been pretty bright I guess. Even in my Freshman and Sophomore years I was getting half decent marks. But that's all changed now. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden the work's just getting on top of me. Sucks right? The one thing I still do well in is English. I enjoy the subject. I love to read. Stienbeck is easily my favourite. Man's a genius.  
  
So there it is. My "nice" life in a nut shell. And here I am- rambling on to no-one, heading to school for another day of bitchy remarks, people bashing and work I don't understand.  
  
Could my life be anymore perfect?  
  
I get to school early. I get to school early a lot. Mostly because I cant wait to get away from my house. School isn't exactly my favourite place but having people fawn over you and your popularity is far more enjoyable than constantly being told what a loser you are.  
  
Slamming my locker door shut I look around the hallway to see if there's any familiar faces around. There aren't so I decide to partake in my usual school time activity of people watching.  
  
The first person to really catch my eye is a girl. I think she's in my English class but I'm not all that sure. I watch her in interest, wondering if many people notice her. She's walking slowly, deeply engrossed in a book. I try to catch the title- Grapes of Wrath. Interesting.  
  
Her battered vans keep scuffing the ground and her faded blue jeans are too long- frayed and torn at the bottom. She's wearing a dark brown cord jacket over a red t-shirt and a chunky multicoloured scarf is flung carelessly around her neck. She looks terribly haphazard.  
  
Long auburn hair falls over her shoulders and the autumn sun give it a pleasant glow. She's very pretty. Not in a conventional way like most of the girls I hang out with. And she's certainly not got Brookes sexy demeanour. In fact she looks like the kind of girl who'd pound my ass in a second if I called her sexy. No, she's pretty in an unaffected and effortless way. Like she doesn't even realise.  
  
I must be staring because she looks up from her book and dark brown eyes bore straight into mine.  
  
She raises an eyebrow and gives me an unsure smile and then she opens her locker- only 2 away from mine- takes some books out, closes it, then walks away again without giving me a second glance.  
  
I suddenly decide I cant wait for my English class. I'm intrigued. 


	2. chapter 2

For the first time in my life I'm not paying any attention whatsoever in class. I'm doodling stars and swirls and other silly girly things on the corner of my history notes. I don't know what on earth is the matter with me.  
  
I can hear Laura gibbering on in my ear. Quite what she's saying is a mystery. Make it stop…make it stop.  
  
"Haley…Haley??"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Have you even been listening to a word I'm saying?"  
  
Nope cant say I have. But I didn't bother saying it out loud. Her head might have exploded.  
  
"Well I was just saying, that I saw Lucas Scott having a fight with Brooke Davis this morning!!!"  
  
Oh good grief. Did these people have nothing better to do? Like live their own lives instead of talking about other people's. 'Did you hear about so and so?' 'OH MY GOD- NO WAY!!' 'YES WAY! And then so and so slept with thingy's girlfriend and then…'- On and on it went. Such were the inane conversations of the gossip mongers in our school. And I refused to partake in an activity which required so little intelligence.  
  
"I'm sorry Laura but I don't really care."  
  
She of course looked aghast at my indifference. How was it possible that I wasn't interested in Brooke Davis or Lucas Scott? Didn't I want to know what they were fighting about? What shoes they were wearing this week? What cereal they ate for breakfast??  
  
She probably thinks I'm a complete snob. That's what you are if you're not interested in other peoples lives. You're not a decent person who respects other peoples privacy. You're a snob. And I was an unpopular snob- which is apparently the worst kind. Brooke and her gaggle of followers at least have a reason to be snobby…they're 'cool'- they provide the gossip so they don't need to take part in it. I however, as just another unknown face in the crowd of this high school, am expected to feed of their lives. What they did in the weekend, Brooke and Lucas's rocky relationship, Peyton's new leather jacket….  
  
I probably am a snob when it comes to gossip. Because I do consider myself above petty rumours and so called scandals. I'm not entertained by them and they don't interest me in the slightest. Why should they? And I'm glad I'm a snob. I'm a better person for it.  
  
Laura would probably have had a nosebleed if she'd seen Lucas Scott looking at me this morning. Because it hadn't just been a passing glance- it was a stare. A very long stare. Not like he was checking me out or anything like that. Just like he was interested in who I am or where I was headed. I was surprised- I couldn't imagine him caring about anybody's life. I guess I always saw him as the arrogant, jerk off, athlete type. But its hard not to have pre-conceptions about someone like Lucas Scott.  
  
Girls salivate over Lucas. To be honest, I probably would to if I had the time for boys. He's tall and toned, with messy blonde hair and blue eyes. There's something about his eyes…I like them. They're hard to read.  
  
I'd like to think that I have mastered the art of reading peoples emotions but I cant do that with him. There's this mischievous spark in them, countered by a smart seriousness…it's hard to explain. He seems very quiet. He isn't like his loud, overbearing friends. Soulful? Is that the word? I dunno what I'm talking about….  
  
Anyway it doesn't matter. He's probably never going to see me again, even though I'll see him. I'll just disappear into the crowd again. Invisible. And for some reason the thought nags me. Yesterday I didn't care what Lucas Scott thought of me. But then I saw those eyes, and now it's different.  
  
She's sat in front of me 


	3. Chapter 3

I know, I know....I've not updated since like forever...I'm very sorry. But thanx heaps for the reviews you guys have been giving me and thanx to whoever nominated me for the Tangled Web awards (I won best new author...whoop whoop)! That was really nice and kind of encouraged me to keep writing this story. This is Lucas's point of view again and I tried to capture what was going on in his mind which is why he goes of on random tangents alot. I should be updating Make believe a Fairytale soon and I hope you guys enjoy this update, as always reviews are appreciated.

Chapter 3

She sits right in front of me. I cant believe I've never noticed her before. What the hell was a preoccupied with? School work??

I smile at her outfit again. It's so normal. Nice…but normal. And the look really suits her. And the earthy, rich colours really compliment her auburn hair and honey eyes. And I don't know when the hell I became the 6th member of Queer Eye for a Straight Guy….but what I mean is…she looks like she knows who she is and she's comfortable with it. She's comfortable to be seen reading a book while she's walking down a school corridor. She's comfortable with wearing one of the ugliest scarves on the planet and adorning her feet with shoes that look like they were made when I was born. I like that. She seems like the kind of person I would've chosen as a friend in grade school. When friends were actually chosen and not just assigned to you depending on what clique you belonged to.

I crane my neck to try and get a look at the name on her folder. Haley James is etched in neat even writing in the top corner. Haley. My mums sister is called Haley- except she spells it Hayley. She was always my favourite aunt- she's quite similar my mom except a lot less spineless. I know- I should probably be more supportive of my mom, but I just cant help it, I get so frustrated with her. I love her, of course I do, sometimes I even like her. I just wish she'd grow a backbone and stand up to my dad once in a while.

Haley James must feel my eyes on her because she turns around.

"Can I help you?" she asks looking me straight in the eye. Man she's got awesome eyes. I'm a sucker for girls eyes. I don't have a colour preference or anything like that. They can have whatever hair colour and eye colour as long as everything's in the right place and they have personality, they're eligible. Maybe not for me, but still eligible. My best friend Jake loves girls with blue eyes. And Nate has a thing for blondes. Me? I think the female species are spectactular in general. But I guess it does take a lot for me to get seriously interested in a girl. Brooke spent forever matchmaking herself with me before I'd even consider a date with her. And I'm still not sure that us going out is right.

It's funny how much you can tell from a persons eyes. Brooke has these green, mischeiveous eyes. Even when she's in the most innocent situation it looks like she's thinking up some kind of prank or she's thinking about….y'know….sex. She has very sexy eyes. Haley James has big honey brown doe eyes. They look gentle and innocent and smiley. Even when she's not smiling. 

"No…I'm good thanks." I give her an arrogant grin. Guys like me tend to give arrogant grins whether we mean to or not. Arrogant grins kind of come with the territory of popular guy. She gives me a kind of freaked out looking smile that plainly says 'ooook-weirdo…' and turns back around. 

I keep watching her. She's scribbling away in her notes. I wonder what she's writing. I lean round my desk again to look at her paper. She stops writing abruptly and slowly turns around. "Seriously…what are you doing?" the expression on her face is kind of a mix between amusement, bewilderment and mild annoyance.

I know how stupid I must look so I decide to try and charm my way out of it.  
"Just wondering what you were writing." I reply with what I like to think is an impressively captivating smile.

She raises an eyebrow and gestures to the whiteboard- clearly she is not taken in by my charm.  
"Try what's on the board. And it's nice that you're so interested, seeing as you should probably be writing it to." she says glancing at my blank paper.  
I'm surprised at her treatment of me. I know you're thinking "wow- that Lucas Scott- he really is arrogant-it's not just the grin" But it's just the truth. I'm used to girls swooning over me, giving up their boyfriends just for a shot with me, receiving 1000 watt smiles just because I said "can I borrow your pencil?" to them.

It's not like I'm attracted to this Haley James or anything. I mean- she's very pretty and all that but I have a girlfriend. A really hot girlfriend. A really hot girlfriend called Brooke. With sexy eyes.

I'm just interested- y'know? 


	4. chapter 4

Heylo! Thanx for my lone reviews Bella and Lena! Whoop whoop! I'm updating straight away just for you guys….as for the rest of you….well….I hope to be hearing more from you than I have been…lol…just kidding. Reviews are ALWAYS good though- and encouraging nudge nudge.

Chapter 4

Officially the weirdest English lesson ever. That's what I think to myself as I pack my bag and leave the classroom. All I know is that 2 weeks ago Lucas Scott would have never given me a second glance and now he's making small talk with me in English. Well you can keep those charming smiles and mysterious eyes Mr Bigshot cos this Haley James couldn't care less what you do….ok well maybe I do. A little bit.

I decide to push him to the back of my mind and I make my way to the cafeteria for lunch.

Our school cafeteria is much like any other school cafeteria. It is bland and boring and serves gross food and like everything else in high school where you sit is defined by who you are and what clique you belong to.

Luc…I mean…the "popular" crowd sit at the table smack bang in the middle of the cafeteria. It is the single table on which none of the seats wobble, but more importantly it is situated where everyone can see it. Probably so us lowly peasants can watch them in awe and admiration at the holy table of popularity and wonder what it would be like to sit there. I suppose Brooke Davis and her minions expect everyone to think it a privilege to even think about eating the crumbs from their table.

The sad thing is that there's a whole heap of people who actually do think like that. My friend Charley calls them the Spice Girls. Y'know- as in "wannabes"? Never mind. It's a lame joke. But he thinks it's funny. And it's kinda true.

One of these girls is called Melissa Newman and she idolises Peyton Sawyer- I swear it's crazy. She dyed her hair blonde and gets it permed every 6 months. She wears black almost every day and has a leather jacket almost exactly the same as Peytons. She carries around a sketchbook and tries out for the cheer squad every year. I know I said I'm not one for gossip but this kind of thing is just about impossible to ignore.

The Spice Girls sit as close as they can get to the middle table. They are separated from it though, by the groups considered cooler than them. It's so weird. The ultimate cool group (Brooke, Lucas, Peyton, Jake Jaglekski etc) sit in the middle and its like the groups immediately next to them are the next rung down on the social ladder. Meaning the other sports teams, the party girls, the ethnic hotties who aren't on the cheer squad, the boys who are quiet but "interestingly cool and mysterious….and hot" Right on the outskirts are the chess club, the loser stoners (as opposed to the cool stoners), the random weirdos no-body talks to and so on. It is pathetic but it is high school.

Me, Charley and Izzy sit in the far left corner of the cafeteria. Surrounded by no-one in particular. Our placing in the cafeteria- just like everyone elses- pretty much sums up who we are and how we are seen. The nomads. The lone rangers. The kids who don't belong to a group. It's ok to be seen talking to them but probably only because anyone who sees you talking to them will forget about it instantly. We are the invisible people. And that's how we like it.

I stand with Izzy in the line, waiting with our ugly yellow trays for whatever "food" we might be fed with today. Izzy is crazy. Crazy in a good way. Crazy in that she changes her name at least once every 3 months. Crazy in that she wears odd socks on purpose, and ties brightly coloured ribbons in her dirty blonde hair, and has theme days, and brings her pet rabbit to school. I know what you're thinking. How can someone as wacky as Izzy be classed as invisible? Yea- I think that to sometimes. But hey! Its high school- you cant explain the unexplainable.

"So why the name change?" I ask glancing at Izzy (before today know as Isa as in Is a star. And before anything else christened by her parents as Isabel.) I also note that today is 60's mod theme day. She's wearing a black and white mini dress, knee high white go go boots (both probably raided from her mothers closet) and huge white framed sun glasses are pushed up onto her head. Big white plastic earring dangle from her ears and her black liquid eyeliner makes her eyes look cat shaped.

"Isa is way too hard for people to remember. Also I realised saying 'I am Isastar' is quite big headed really. And bad grammar to if you think about it. Izzy is far easier for people to remember and its kooky without being to eccentric. This ones a keeper I think."

I smile at her. She certainly keeps my life interesting.

"Hm. The burger…interesting…"

I turn around as this comment seems to be directed at me and my burger. Oh my God. What the hell is up with the world today??

"Excuse me?" I question Lucas Scott as he looks at my burger with a clearly feigned interest.

He looks up as if he's only just realised I'm talking to him.  
"Oh- I was just saying your choice of food was interesting. Seeing as the beef seems to…y'know….closely resemble shoe leather."

I furrow my brow at him in what I hope is a sardonic and questioning way.  
"Whatever."

Apart from Lucas Scott never giving me a second glance, y'know what else would never have happened two weeks ago? Me getting worked up about Lucas Scott that's what. I can honestly say that one of the things that separates me from most of the rest of the female population of this school is the fact that I have never thought about him. I mean- I knew who he was- in our school you'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to. And I'm sure that even if you were blind, deaf and dumb you'd still be unable to avoid knowing about him somehow. I knew who he was but that's where it stopped…..

What am I talking about?? That's still where it stops. A few words and a smile is not going to turn me into a puddle of mush. No- I choose resistance! I refuse to be reduced to a salivating teeny bopping Lucas lover. Haley James is bigger than that.  
Before you guys cruise off into the distance- tell me about banners- how do I go about making a nice pretty banner for my story?? Something to entice readers…lol. 


	5. chapter 5

**Sorry sorry- I know it's been a long time coming and all my reviews will probably say something like "FRICKIN FINALLY." But here it is, chapter 5- enjoy.**

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**Chapter 5**

I glance at Haley James across the cafeteria, she's sat at the table in the far corner with some guy wearing glasses and the crazy looking girl she was stood in the lunch line with. I don't know why I started talking to her. I'm not usually like that I swear.

I'm quite shy when it comes down to it. But for some reason I just felt the need to talk to her- to make her notice me. Isn't that dumb? She clearly thinks I'm mentally unbalanced and for some reason it bothers me. Maybe it's because she's somehow managed to earn my respect almost immediately…and y'know…when someone one has your respect you kinda want them to like you to. Or just respect you back. Anything.

She looks up suddenly and our eyes connect. And she gives me this smile. And it isn't one of those uncertain smiles, or a smile that says "you're kind of a maniac". It's a smile like an "I understand" smile. It is gentle and shy and in that moment everything else disappears. It's just the 2 of us. Weird huh? Like I said I'm not attracted to her or anything….but maybe I've just earned a little of her respect or something.

The moment comes to an abrupt halt when Brooke saunters into the cafeteria, flings her arms around my neck and gives me a loud kiss on the cheek. Haley rolls her eyes and turns away. I try and turn my attention to Brooke.

"Hi Boyfriend!" she grins stealing a chip from my plate.

I give her a half hearted smile and kiss her quickly on the lips. I'm not really in the mood for flirting today. She doesn't let my unenthusiastic mood get her down, in fact she probably doesn't even notice, she just turns around and starts chattering on to Theresa about plans for the weekend.

A lot of our friends find it odd that we date. People outside of our social circle don't think it's weird. They just take it for granted that head cheerleader and star of the basketball team go out I guess. Like some twisted law of nature or something.

Brooke is the complete opposite of me. She is the epitome of extrovert, I am quiet and fairly introverted. She loves parties, getting drunk, and before me- hooking up with as many guys as possible- and me? Yea, not so much. Brooke is like the ultimate good time girl and I am the kind of guy who doesn't mind sitting at home on a Friday night and reading a book.

Brooke isn't some kind of bimbo or anything. She's smart, she gets good grades- but she sees reading as something saved for school hours- it isn't regarded as a pleasurable activity in her eyes. I think that's maybe why I find myself questioning our relationship. I often wonder how this is going to work out when our views of life and our interests outside of school are so different.

Of course Brooke would argue "live for the moment"- who cares if it doesn't work out- lets just have fun now! But I'm starting to realise more and more, that I'm looking for someone who I can see some kind of future with….I don't know if that sounds stupid or whatever…

2 classes and one basketball practise later and I'm driving home….It's raining pretty hard and I can see a figure in the distance. It's Haley James. Of course it is- fate…it's a funny little thing isn't it?

I pull up beside the curb and wind down the window.

"Hey Haley James," she turns to face me. God, the hat she's wearing is even uglier than her scarf. It's some sort of green, crocheted monstrosity. And it's not done a very good job of sheltering her from the rain, "need a ride?"

She looks like she's about to refuse for a moment but just as she opens her mouth, the grumble of thunder sounds and she looks at the sky and sighs.  
"Sure, why not."

I watch her out of the corner of my eye while I drive. She gathers all of her wet hair over one shoulder and twists it round, trying to wring some of the water out of it. Then she sweeps it back into a messy bun. She doesn't even flip down the mirror to do it she just gathers it up and secures it with a hair tie. This is a new concept to me…all the girls I know would never do their hair without a mirror. She catches my glance.

"What?" she asks with a grin

"Oh just…" I'm about to tell her about how the girls I know don't do that, but I suddenly don't feel like it. It seems that it would ruin the moment, "nothing."


	6. Chapter 6

Hey buddies! Here it is...chapter 6 for your enjoyment! As always, reviews are appreciated.

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Lucas pulls up beside my house and I clumsily get out, practically spilling my books all over the sidewalk.  
"Thanks for the ride."

"No problem" he says with a shy smile.

Talk about misconceptions! I never thought Lucas Scott would be the type to give shy smiles….but then again, today has been full of Lucas Scott shaped surprises.

I walk up the steps of my porch willing myself not to look back at him- "I am not being charmed by Lucas Scott and his soulful eyes and shy smile. I am not one of those girls."- this is what I repeat to myself while climbing the stairs.

Soon enough however, my mind is off boys and back to the more important things at hand. I have a shower as soon as I get in and change into some sweat pants and a white t-shirt. Then it's on to the school work.

When I was little I'd always attempt to do my homework in the kitchen, but I quickly learned that in a family of 8, the kitchen is the most chaotic place in the house and the last place you'd be likely to find peace and quiet. So I retreated to my small but comfortable bedroom- and subsequently it's where I spent half of my childhood.

My brothers and sisters have all left home now, and I (the youngest) am free to do my homework wherever I please, but I've grown accustomed to my bedroom now. The sunshine yellow walls, the dark oak dresser, the large pin board crammed with pictures of my friends and family. Mr Waffles- the bear I've had since I was 4. The small desk in the corner- probably the most organised desk in the history of the world. I'm not a neat freak, but I cant stand having loose pieces of paper floating around my room. On top of the desk is a wooden stationary holder, a picture of me, Izzy and Charlie when we were 14 and a neat stack of school books. These small things are home to me. They are safe and familiar and comfortable.

I'm not a big fan of change or spontaneity. I'm not completely opposed to it and I'd hate to think I'm boring, but all in all- I'm happy to keep things the same…at least for a little while. Not like Izzy, who likes to change everything all the time.

I put on a Coldplay cd and make a start on my biology homework while distractedly humming along to Amsterdam and half listening to the rain outside. I hear my name being called.

"Haley- there's someone here to see you- shall I just send him up?"

It must be Charlie…he said he'd come round at about 4. I don't know why mom would say "someone" instead of Charlie though.

"Yup- whatever."

There's a knock on my bedrook door- what? Charlie never knocks. He doesn't even knock on my front door come to think of it…

I start to open the door "Ya big loser, what are yo…." I trail off. Lucas Scott is stood at my bedroom door.

"Um hi." he says looking a little embarrassed.

I shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other.  
"Um. Hey. Come in…"

I let him into my room. This is surreal. Laura Calberg would have a heart attack. I sit down on the bed, not really knowing what else to do. He's looking just as uncomfortable as I feel and he keeps reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck. And awkward silence hangs in the air. I cant take it any longer. "So….what are you doing here?"

"Oh! Um…I …you left your English book in my car," he holds up the offending object in his hand and places it quickly on the desk, "I thought you might need it…for homework or something…"

Oh…so he just wanted to drop off a book. For a second I feel a little twinge of something. Dissapointment? No- that's silly. Shut up brain. "Thanks."

"You also left this." he hands me my green hat and I think I can see a small smirk on his face.

"What?"

"What?" he imitates, not even bothering to hide the smirk this time.

"Whats with the smirk?"

"What smirk? I didn't smirk."

I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Ok…well, I mean- you gotta admit…it's a pretty ugly hat…"

I hug the hat to me and give him an offended look "Hey! I've had this hat since I was 10 and it has served me well."

He laughs loudly "So that would make it what? 7 years out of fashion?"

"Oh ha ha- sorry we cant all be as stylish as you Mr Stylish McStyley pants."

He laughs again "Fantastic comeback." he says turning around and starting to look at my pinboard.

A silence descends on the room again, but this time it's more comfortable and I don't think either one of us feels any kind of pressure to start talking again. And when he does talk again I feel more relaxed, and less worried about looking stupid.

"So these are all you brothers and sisters?" he asks pointing to a photo taken the last time the whole of our family was together at the same time- a few summers ago at the beach. I must have been about 12.

"Yup- that's us. The James clan."

"Wow- that's a pretty big clan. Y'know I only have one brother. Well- a half brother. Nate."

I did know that. The whole school knows it. The saga of the Scott family. Lucas's dad had an affair while Lucas's mom was pregnant, the result of which was Nathan- who moved in with the Scotts when his own mother died- him and Lucas were both about 5. I think about how sad it is that everybody knows each pathetic little detail in Lucas's life. I would hate to know that all of my peers knew everything about me, so instead of saying I know what happened I just say "Oh?" quietly.

"I always wanted a big family when I was little…. ," he's almost talking to himself now. He sounds wistful and sad, "Instead I got landed with a mom who cant stand up for herself and a dad whos favourite past time is telling me what a loser I am."

Woah. Ok. That I didn't know. I don't think Lucas meant to say that either because it seems like he's suddenly snapped out of it. We're both silent for a moment and then…

"Um…so I've gotta go- I said I'd be home by 4.…It was nice to see you again Haley James."

Just as he's about to leave, Charlie bursts through the door.  
"Geez Haley, Coldplay? They're so.." he stops short as he sees Lucas.

"Hey." says Lucas, clearly wanting to get away.

"Hey." says Charlie, looking slightly confused.

"Bye Haley," Lucas says, avoiding my eye, then he glances quickly at Charlie before heading out of the door, "bye."

Charlie gives me a look that clearly says. What. The. Hell.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't know what came over me, I really don't…. one minute we were indulging in a bit of friendly banter and the next I'm spilling out the sob story that is my life to her…

I pull up in the driveway and slam the door shut.

It's just…y'know….she looked so nice. Just sat there with her legs folded under her. She looked like this beautiful, innocent child but with a kind of wisdom in her eyes… and I felt so ignorant and kind of dirty around her. I felt this crazy urge to justify myself -so I guess all that stuff about my parents came out because I just wanted her to see that there's a reason why I am the way I am.

That night Jake comes over to borrow some c.d's and me, him and Nate end up shooting a few hoops in the late evening light.

If you were to think about it, I suppose I have a pretty odd relationship with Nathan. He's my dads illegitimate love child and you'd think I'd resent him for it. I don't. I hate my dad for what he did to mom. But it's hardly Nathan's fault. Besides, I grew up with him- 5 year olds don't think about the logistics of these things- they just welcome a new playmate. I love him as much as I'd love a real brother. He's pretty much my best friend.

I take a shot….and miss it by miles. Again.

"Man, your game's really off tonight Luke," Nathan laughs, "what's the deal?"

"Thinking about Miss Davis?" Jake asks grinning "You're a lucky man Scott…" he takes a perfect shot and gets it straight in.

I smile but don't reply. We play for a little longer in silence, concentrating on the game. Soon I'm in need of a break- I get tired pretty easily after school.

"Enough…." I say breathing heavily, "enough." I collapse with Jake onto the grass. I think he's glad I called time- he looks pretty tired to. Nathan however, is a ball of energy. He's barely broken into a sweat.

"Geez you're both a pair of grandmas."

We laugh. Nathan's always been like this. The fireball, the one who leaps before he looks. He gets himself into so much trouble.

"Do you know Haley James?" I suddenly hear myself asking- I remember seeing her heading for Nathan's bio class after English.

"Haley James? Ummm…"

"She's in your bio class."

He makes some more uncertain sounds and then Jake buts in "Haley…I think I have maths with her- small, brunette? Kind of cute looking? Incredibly brainy?"

"Oh wait," exclaims Nathan, "I know who you mean. Yeah, really smart and kind of hot. Absolutely zero dress sense though."

"Sounds about right." I chuckle quietly.

"Why?" Nathan asks sitting up- I can hear the curious amusement in his voice.

"Oh no reason…I just talked to her today and y'know…I'd never noticed her before and she's pretty cool." I try to sound nonchalant.

"Oh yeah?" I don't even have to look at Jake to know that he's smirking.

"What?" I ask sounding more annoyed than I mean to.

It's Nathan's turn now.  
"Nonchalant Lucas means interested Lucas."

"I have a girlfriend." I say grumpily and I think they realise that this is the end of the conversation.

Later I'm hanging out with my mom on the deck. She's stringing up fairy lights in preparation for the party tomorrow night. Every year my mom and dad have a party for the team and their parents. Basketball appreciation night it's called. Or something lame like that. My dad's stupid idea.

"Hi Mrs Scott" comes a perky voice.

"Oh hi Brooke." my mom says smiling distractedly at her and then getting back to her fairy light stringing.

I've got to admit she's incredibly hot. She has this sexy walk thing- it's all about hip thrusting and long, slow, confident steps- anybody else doing this walk would look pretentious and bizarre but it suits Brooke. It looks like the most natural thing in the world.

She's wearing a tiny denim mini skirt with a tight black sweater and knee high leather boots. Her polished dark brown hair sits on her shoulders framing her face perfectly. The way she looks sums up pretty much everything that she is- glamorous, sexy, expensive, time-consuming and a little bit bitchy. But I like her. She's smart and funny and she can be really nice when she wants. And like I said, she's hot as hell.

"Hi Luke." she whispers it in my ear. Her warm breath tickles gently and she softly grazes her lips against my cheek. She grins that seductive little grin at me, at first I hesitate and for some reason Haley crosses my mind…but then I suddenly feel like I need the distraction. I take her hand and lead her inside and upstairs.

Afterwards I feel disgusted with myself. Brooke's a good girl at heart…. and she loves me. I know it. And to put it plain and simple, I don't love her. I like her- most of the time. I'm attracted to her all the time and she definitely turns me on. And that was enough at first. The only thing either of us wanted was a little fun. But even I can see that it's more then that now. There are feeling at stake here- and their all hers. And even though I know it I keep on finding myself right back here. In bed with a girl I don't love.

I can see myself turning out to be more and more like my father every day and it scares the hell out of me. 


	8. Chapter 8

"Wait….so you're telling me that Lucas Scott, THE Lucas Scott, just randomly dropped by your house yesterday?" Izzy says loudly, eyeballing me over her cup of coffee.

I notice some customers look up at the sheer loudness of her voice.  
"No he didn't just randomly drop by, he came to give me back my English book and do you have to be so freakin loud?" I say avoiding her gaze and wiping the counter.

"Why did he have your English book?" she asks in a stage like whisper.

"I left it in his car."

"WHAT?" ok- back to Radio Izzy. Broadcasting to the world. "What the freak were you doing in his car?"

God, I will never understand how Izzy manages to make the most innocent action sound like it could have been a porn movie or something.  
"He gave me a ride cos it was raining." she's giving me the look. Y'know that 'ohhh suuurre….he gave you a ride cos it was "raining"' look. "What?" I demand.

"You like him don't you?" she grins slyly

"No."

"Ok."

Silence…. I keep my eyes on the counter but I can feel her eyes on me and I can feel my face heating up.

"YOU SO DO! Look at you! Blushing like a little tomatoe!"

"NO I DON'T!" "Who would've thought," she continues ignoring my outburst, "Innocent Haley James and the big bad basketball star…"

"Shut up." I growl between gritted teeth.

"Don't worry I wont tell anyone."

"That's because there's nothing to tell." No seriously. There isn't anything to tell…except…last night…it's just he was…so…I don't know what the word is. But last night when he was talking about his family…my heart just went out to him. He sounded so sad and so lonely. And scared. I wanted to get up and hug him. But I was pretty sure he wouldn't be too impressed with that. Maybe I've started to see Lucas as more of a nice guy as opposed to a stuck up jock, but that doesn't mean I like him or anything. I mean it totally doesn't mean I like him right?

"Hales I'm your best friend! You might as well just admit it! There's nothing to be scared of."

"That's it- get out." I'm resorting to drastic measures.

"What? You can't kick me out."

"Sure I can. Julia's not here so I'm in charge and you're distracting me from working to my full potential."

She pouts her glossy pink lips and shoves the bobby pin that she's been playing with into her hair, joining all the other bobby pins haphazardly keeping her hair from falling into her face.  
"Fine. I'll leave. But this isn't over Haley James."

She marches out of the coffee shop and I sigh wearily. Having Izzy as a friend is incredibly tiring. And I have to work all day- we're catering for some big party this evening. I'm so not in the mood for prancing around serving fancy people fancy food. I groan loudly. No early bedtime for me tonight.

I've been working at the Coffee Bean since I started high school. I work most weekends and some week nights. The pay is pretty good but I save most of it to go towards my collage fees so there's isn't much left to spend on other things. I don't care too much about clothes and stuff like that though- half of my stuff belonged to various siblings at one time or another. That's what comes from being youngest I guess. I suppose it would be nice to have a wardrobe full of new, super fashionable, super expensive clothes but I can honestly say I don't really care. Waste not, want not. For example, what's the point in throwing out a pair of slightly unfashionable jeans if they fit you and their still in good condition?

Anyway, Julia- that's my boss- started her own catering service last year, and that's on top of running the coffee shop, so I usually help her out with that as well. I basically help prepare the food, help with delivery and set up, and then waitress with 2 other girls for the rest of the evening. It's a pretty full on job.

We arrive at the house at about 5:00. Apparently the party doesn't start till like 7:00 so we've got plenty of time. I'm wearing those slightly unfashionable jeans I mentioned earlier and a plain black t-shirt. My hair is still damp from it's wash, pulled into a messy bun and I'm not wearing any make-up. It's not pretty but it's practical!

Obviously, I have to be a little more presentable later on, when I'm "waiting" on people but I usually get changed at the last possible second. I hate wearing skirts.

I lift a tray of little lemon meringues out of the back of the van. "Where do you want these meringues Jules?"

"Oh just take them through to the kitchen hun."

I walk slowly into the house. I'm incredibly clumsy- you would not believe how scared I get carrying trays of other peoples food.

Wow. This is some place. The entrance hall is huge- with one of those awesome staircases- You know, the giant grand ones- like in Titanic. I always wanted one of those staircases when I was little. When I went through my princess phase.

After about 10 seconds of admiring my surroundings I start to carry on into the kitchen when a voice sounds above me.

"Hey."

Oh no way. This is just not happening. I slowly turn around.

"Oh! Hey…" It so is happening. Lucas Scott is stood at the top of that big grand staircase. Shirtless. Very shirtless.

I gulp. I've gone red. I always do in these kind of situations. Anything involving shirtless people. I can't even watch some bits in movies with my mum without getting embarrassed. I guess you'd call me a bit of a prude. And this blush… it's not a cute little rosy cheeked endearing blush. My whole face, my neck- even my ears- go completely red. Pillar box red.

He's just so tanned and gorgeous. With his scruffy blonde hair sticking out at odd angles- it's so adorable. I tear my eyes away. God this is painful. What's he even doing here?

"So…what are you doing here?" he says- repeating my thoughts.

"Um I'm helping with the party… catering and stuff…" I trail off feeling like a silly little child. For some reason I suddenly remember that I'm not wearing any make-up. And these stupid jeans. Who cares about practicality? Their freakin ugly.

He smiles at me. It's such a friendly smile, I suddenly feel bad for every time I ever thought he was a snob.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask just trying to find a way to break the silence.

"My house…my party."

Right. Of course. Wouldn't you know it? 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I hate these parties. I hate most parties really. But parties organised by my dad are the worst. Their just so pretentious. We all wear suits and the women wear fancy dresses and we act like we're better than we actually are.

I'm sat outside on the deck with Jake. We're not talking. Just sitting. He hates these things as much as me.

"Having fun?" I ask derisively.

"Nope," he replies with a wan smile, "the food is good though."

I nod in agreement. The food is awesome. I smile to myself, remembering Haley this afternoon. She was so embarrassed- it was kinda cute. And those jeans…yet another fashion faux pas. For some reason I really like that about her.

I look over to where she's bringing out another tray of canapés. She's changed into her waitress uniform- a short black skirt and a white button down shirt. Her hair's in a plait thing and from what I can tell she's put on a little bit of make-up. Don't get me wrong I think she looks great now- hot even- but I think I liked unfashionable, damp hair, no make up Haley even better.

She notices me looking at her and smiles shyly at me. I return the smile and then…

"Hey lover!"

Here we go. Brooke is always like this at parties. Loud and usually drunk. She looks stunning in her red, revealing dress, but Brooke's always a knock out right?

"Oh hi Jake." she says noncommittally.

"Hey Brooke." he says getting up. Brooke is good at letting people know when she wants them to leave.

She leans heavily into me when Jake's gone. "I'm bored. Lets go upstairs."

Suddenly I see my chance to end this. I push her gently away from me.  
"Brooke, we need to talk."

"We can talk later. Lets go." she takes my arm and tugs on it.

I pull away.  
"Brooke, I'm serious. We need to talk. Now- not later."

She sits back and looks quizzically at me.  
"Fine," she sighs, "What do you want to talk about?"

I hate what I'm about to do.  
"It's just…don't you ever get sick of this? I mean- all we ever seem to do is fool around…it doesn't really mean anything…"

"You mean you want to be more serious?"

"Exactly…"

"Well I'm fine with that- guess it's about time we took it…"

I cut her off quickly "What I mean…well what I mean is I want to be more serious just…" I trail off. Why is this so hard?

A look of hurt flashes across Brookes face and then she looks straight at me- her eyes hard and cold.  
"You want to be more serious, just not with me right?"

I look away. I know Brooke, and I know when she's trying not to cry.

"So you've just be using me really, haven't you?"

I don't say anything. I don't think I've ever hated myself more. The silence seems to last forever, and then she gets up briskly.

"See you round Luke." she says abruptly.

I rest my head in my hands. How much of an ass am I?

I wander slowly towards the kitchen, looking for a drink. I'm about to go in when I hear a voice. I peer in. It's empty apart from 2 people. One of them is Evan- the biggest asshole on the team- and he's hitting on some girl. I think it's one of the waitresses- I cant really tell though- he's stood in front of her.

"Come on- you should be honoured I'm even asking…"

God he's such a sleaze. Poor girl- doesn't even know what she's letting herself in for.

"Look buddy," Haley James's voice says in annoyance, "why don't you take your fat head out of your fat ass. I said no and I mean no."

I grin to myself. She sure knows how to stick up for herself. I turn to go- Haley can look after herself, and even Evan wouldn't hang around after being shot down like that…But then I hear him carry on.

He's put his arms on either side of her- trapping her against the counter. "How about I forget what you just said? How about y'just stand still?" he slurs, leaning right into her struggling body, "see when I want something, I get it." he presses his lips against her neck

He's moved and I can see her face over his shoulder. She looks angry. But more than that- she looks really scared. Terrified even.

"Hey," Evan stops molesting her but he doesn't turn around, "I'm pretty sure I just heard her tell you to leave her alone."

He turns his head to look at me.  
"This isn't any of your business Scott. Why don't you just piss off?"

I advance towards him.  
"Well unfortunately for you, I happen to think, that you molesting some poor innocent girl in my house is very much my business."

"I'm warning you Lucas…"

"Warning me about what? I'm not scared of you Evan- she doesn't want you so just leave her alone." I say calmly.

Before I know what's happening he's launched his gigantic fist at me. I touch my lip. It's bleeding. Great. Just great. Now I'm going to have to hit him back. It's not like I'm scared of him or anything, it's just that Evan…well- he's a pretty big guy. He could take me easy. But, well- as is usual with red blooded 17 year olds- I'm gonna let pride get the best of me.

"Right." I say angrily before lunging myself at him.

It feels good. This feels good. This punching and kicking. Everything's coming out now. I'm angry. But not just at Evan. At my dad. At my mum for not being stronger. At Brooke for making me feel like a dick. At Nathan for that time we were 7 and he broke the computer and blamed it on me. At Peyton for not returning my Ramones cd even though she's had it for about a year. I'm just angry at everyone and everything. Every stupid little thing that's ever annoyed me is coming out right now,

It's weird how a fight is the one thing in the whole world where you never find your mind drifting somewhere else. In a fight, you concentrate solely on the matter in hand- which is inflicting as much pain as possible on your opponent. I'm so fixed on this that I don't notice all the people gathering in the kitchen. I don't notice Jake and Nathan trying to pull me away. I don't notice my dad yelling in the background. I don't even notice that I'm getting my ass completely whipped. I just keep on throwing punches and kicks in the hope that something connects.

Finally Jake- manages to rip my hands away from Evans neck and he drags me kicking and flailing outside.

He's breathing heavily. It must have taken him a lot of effort.  
"What was that about?"

The angry red that was clouding up my mind has suddenly evaporated into the cold dark night and I'm starting to feel all the punches Evan managed to get in. And there's a whole heap of them, trust me. We both sit down heavily on the deck.

I shrug slowly. I don't really want to talk about it.

"Mr Jagleski could you leave me and Lucas alone for a moment." a voice says sharply. My dad. And he sounds pissed as hell.

I turn my head but don't bother standing up. Jake gets up and leaves for the second time tonight.

He yells. And then yells some more. Mostly about how I wrecked his party -except he calls it "our party"- and how I'm a big disappointment and how he should have expected this kind of behaviour and blah blah blah. Same old, same old.

When he's finished he gives me this look. It's all sincere and wistful and sad. But he doesn't mean it. I know he just wants to hit me. He shakes his head at me and then goes back inside.

I take my jacket off and roll up the sleeves of my shirt. When did I become such a screw up.

"Hi."

It's Haley. She sits down next to me. I'm kind of happy to see her.

"Hey." I say quietly.

"Thanks." she says after a pause.

"No problem" I grunt still not looking at her.

She rolls up her own sleeves and gently turns my head to face her. She has a wet flannel which she presses tenderly against my eye. I wince. I didn't even know he'd got my eye.

"Hold" she demands. So I do.

I watch her carefully. The way her hair is falling out of its plait, soft wisps framing her face and tickling her neck. The way she looks so soft and pretty under the dim lights. And she watches me. I wonder what she's thinking. Are we having a moment? If we are then she's first to snap out of it. She turns away quickly and looks out at some invisible point in the darkness.

"So what did your dad say? He didn't look too happy…"

"Y'know. Just how much of a loser I am. How much of a screw up. How I wrecked his precious party."

"Oh. That old chestnut." she says awkwardly.

For some reason it makes me laugh. Probably because when she's says things like that she's completely serious- even though it's the kind of thing a grandma would say. She's so goofy and it's nice. It's nice that she doesn't seem to care about saying things a gran would say.

She smiles and blushes as if she knows how dorky that must've sounded.  
"Well anyway. I should go help Jules. Since…y'know…that's what I'm getting paid for."

"Right." I reply, disappointed that she's going.

"But thanks again Luke."

"Like I said, no problem."

It's only after she's gone that I realise she called me Luke. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It's 3 am before I finally crawl into bed, and wouldn't you know it, I can't even get to sleep. I'm the most tired I've ever been in my life and I can't sleep. My mind is filled with images of Lucas. The smirky jock. The shy smile. The hurt little boy. The shirtless Lucas (oh my god the shirtless Lucas…). Lucas after a fight…. A fight he got in for me…

OK FINE. I like him. It's official- I'm just another Lucas Scott groupie- those of which me and Charlie used to mock constantly. He's gonna be so disappointed in me…Charlie I mean.

I sigh heavily and reach over to my desk, fumbling in the darkness trying to find the lamp switch. I find it and then pick up the photo frame on my desk.

Memories. Me, Izzy and Charlie. The summer before high school. That was the summer we pretty much lived out of each others pockets. Izzy looks as mad as usual- just smaller and with shorter hair. She's wearing a long, floaty, multi-coloured skirt, a white peasant blouse and no shoes. Her hair is cut into a chin length bob and it's uneven, dirty blonde waves fall awkwardly around the impish heart shaped face I know and love so well. She looks every inch the wild child. Charlie and I met Izzy when we were all 11. She was new at school and I was enchanted by her. She was so different and so much more interesting than all the other kids at school.

As for Charlie, I've known him since I was a baby. He looks quite different. He's tall and skinny…same as now, but he isn't wearing glasses and his jet black hair hasn't got any product in it. In this photo his outfit consists of a baggy pair of jeans and a white hoodie- 14 year old Charlie wore the staple uniform of any other 14 year old boy. 17 year old Charlie is the most stylish guy I know. His green eyes are filled with happiness and his head is thrown back in laughter. Charlie doesn't really laugh so much anymore. His first year of high school was hell for him. He came to Tree Hill High last year cause he…well cause he got bullied I guess. He'll never say that though. He's so ashamed of "not being able to stand up for himself". Charlie used to be the most colourful person I knew- so confident and easy going. But freshman year changed him a lot. He's grown very cynical of the world and he hates the whole popularity thing.

What would happen to my friendship with Izzy and Charlie if something ever happened with Lucas? Not that it would of course… I mean, he has a girlfriend-but just if… Izzy probably wouldn't care. But Charlie? I don't know.

I put the picture down and groan loudly. Of all the guys in all the world? Why Lucas Scott?

Sunday morning I wake up ridiculously early and stumble into the kitchen.

"Good morning my darling." my overly cheery mother greets me with an overly cheery smile.

What is wrong with the woman? Who gets up at 6:30 am (fully dressed and with a bright smile) on a Sunday?

"You're up early" she carries on, turning over another page of the newspaper and taking another sip of her coffee.

I grunt in reply. And shuffle over to the fridge.

"Sit down," she orders rolling her eyes, "I'll make you some breakfast."

I try to say thanks but it just comes out as another grunt. I know, attractive right?

I sit down at our large oak dining table and watch mom work her magic with the pancake mix. I love my family- their absolutely everything to me. My dad worked so hard to provide everything for us kids, and mom worked just as hard at home- cooking, cleaning, washing….6 children cant have been easy, and I really appreciate all they've done for us. No matter how busy with work he was, dad always had time to play ball in the park with us. No matter how busy mom was with housework she always had time to read us a bedtime story. The house is so big it feels quite empty now- with only me and the parentals living there…but people are always dropping by. At least one of the James clan will always be round on a weekend. And we try and get together for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I want a household like this when I have a family- the kind of warm comforting place where people always randomly drop by. A house just filled with love.

"Becca's coming down with Jerry and the kids today." mom says as she sets down a plate full of pancakes in front of me.

Becca is my eldest sister. She's 27 (married Jerry at 21) and has 3 kids.

"Great," I reply, with a mouthful of pancake, "they've not visited for ages."

Mom sits down opposite me and props her elbow up on the table, resting her chin in her hand. She's so beautiful, my mom. She looks all warm and soft, she doesn't look her 50 years…more 45.…and there's still that youthful spark in her green eyes.

"So, how was work last night?"

Crap. I practically got raped by a fat jock. But then there was Lucas….  
"It was ok." 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

So here I am. In my car. On the way to Haley James's house. This is so weird. I've known her for what? Little more than 48 hours? But I just really want to hang out with her. Have you ever had a feeling about someone…and you didn't understand the feeling or where it came from, but it's still there? It's like that. I don't have a crush on her…at least I don't think so….but I don't want to hang out with her just to be her friend, you know?

I knock on the door and when no-body answers I'm actually semi relieved. I wasn't to sure how I would explain my being there. I'm half way down the steps when I hear the door open and I turn around quickly.  
There's Haley….carrying a small child. Could this be? Haley James- teen mom?  
She seems to be able to read my stare and rolls her eyes at me.

"She's not mine you nitwit. My sister and her family are here for the weekend."

"I didn't think she was yours…" I say unconvincingly.

There's a moment of a silence before we both start laughing. I look at the little girl in Haley's arms. She must be about 3, and she's peering shyly up at me. She's adorable- with big green eyes and a halo of auburn curls.

After our laughter subsides there's another moment of silence. A little more awkward this time.  
"I just wondered if maybe you'd want to hang out today?"

A big smile slowly spreads across her face.  
"Come in," she says, "oh, and this is Amy"  
I follow Haley into the house and smile at Amy who's watching me over Haley's shoulder.  
"Hey there Amy.."

She giggles one of those gloriously happy hicupping laughs that only very small children can achieve and buries her head back into Haley's shoulder.

I take in my surroundings. The James household is everything the Scott household isn't. It's warm and friendly. There are family pictures all over the walls and children's toys scattered all over the floor.

She leads me into the big sunny living room. A good looking middle aged woman is sat on the floor playing with another little girl. This one looks a little bit older than Amy and looks a lot different- she's got a thinner face, black curly hair…in fact the only similarity is those big green eyes.

A lady who looks a bit like a slightly older version of Haley sits on one of the big armchairs with a tiny baby cradled in her arms.

"Mom, Becca this is Lucas" Haley says putting Amy down next to the other little girl.

"Hey" I mumble, raising my hand slightly in greeting and giving all the ladies in the room a sheepish smile. I feel so uncomfortable. Not because they're making me uncomfortable….but I guess it's just…I just wanted to hang out with Haley and I seem to have stumbled upon some huge family gathering.

"this is my mom, my sister Becca and her kids- Lori," she gestures to the dark haired girl, "Sam," the baby I'm assuming, "And you've already met Amy."

I wave awkwardly again. God I feel so stupid…

"So you've stumbled into a house full of women…" Becca smiles at me, "Dad and Jerry couldn't hack it, they've gone off to do their manly things. Sammy here's the only real man in our family…" she laughs. She looks at bit like Haley when she laughs. 

"Have a seat Lucas." Haley's mom says as if she's known me forever.

"We're actually gonna go out mom…."

We are? Thank god. Not that I don't like Haley's family…They seem really awesome. Definitely cooler than my family, but I've only just decided I'd like to get to know Haley better…I'm not sure if I'm ready for a full on family get together.

I follow Haley as she goes to get her coat (a plain black woollen one- surprisingly normal for her)  
"So we're headed out?"

"Yea- sorry I didn't ask you, but I just assumed babysitting my sister and her brood wasn't exactly what you had in mind when you suggested hanging out."

I grin, "Not really no."

"So what do you want to do?"

I shrug, "I'm pretty hungry"

She rolls her eyes, "Of course. Typical boy." she grabs a wallet off the side table and that god awful hat, "Let's go to Angelo's"

"Who's Angelo? And not that I have a real problem with it but why, WHY do you wear that hat?"

"Angelo's is an incredible place that makes the best pizza in the history of the world…not that you would know that, as you and your little posse don't tend to venture any further then Starbucks…and I wear this hat because I like it."

I laugh at her playful jibe. I know from her slight smile she's joking. "I resent that…I hate Starbucks and I certainly don't consider myself part of a posse."

She looks me dead in the eye and prods my chest with her index finger.  
"You insult my hat, I insult you….Guess we're even."

I go to get into the car but she tells me we should walk. So we do. It's a 20 minute walk and it flies by. I don't think I've ever met a girl so interesting.

Angelo's turns out to be a small building in a row of shops down a street that I swear I've never seen before…which is weird since Tree Hill is so tiny.

It also turns out to be one hell of a pizzeria and I strongly recommend it.

It's lighting is warm but not dim. I hate restaurants with dim lighting…Brooke loves them, thinks it's romantic or something- she was always dragging me to them…and I promise you- the dimmer the lighting, the more expensive the food. None of the tables and chairs in this place match, it's packed with people and it's loud and noisy- you can hear loud laughter and the clanking of plates coming from the kitchen…everything is ridiculously haphazard- the paintings on the walls range from Monet knock offs to canvas's by unknown artists from Tree Hill. I find myself in love with it immediately. Ever since I can remember, everything in my life has been so freakin orderly. My mom always insists on matching towels and everything in the bathroom has to have the same scent on whatever. That's why I liked Haley's house and that's why I like this place.

Haley walks up to the young guy behind the counter.  
"Hey Haley" he greets her with a shy smile.

"Hey Jeff, you wouldn't have any spare tables would you?"

It just so happens they have one spare table right near the window. Haley's favourite table, weirdly enough.

It takes about 10 minutes to even get to the table as Haley seems to be stopping to greet one of the waiters or the chefs every 5 seconds.  
"So you know these people pretty well?" I ask once we finally get seated.

"Yeah, I guess…we've been coming here since I was like 5."

"Well if it isn't one of the James clan!" A loud voice comes from across the room.

Haley stands up with a huge beam on her face and throws her arms around the owner of the voice…a tall, lean, grey haired man with a heavily lined face, full of character.

After being introduced I figure out the following. The man is called Roberto and owns the restauraunt…an old family friend apparently. He points out a picture on the wall- it's a framed photograph of Haley's family. Once Roberto leaves, Haley points herself out on the picture.

"I was such a runt," she says laughing at the picture, "I wanted to be just like my older sisters…"

Not only do I find myself liking Haley more and more, I also find myself envying her more and more. She has this incredible family. A family who care for and support each other. A family who everybody knows and loves…they have their picture on the wall of a restauraunt for Gods sake….

They have less people in their house then we do in our house but where our house seems empty, their's is over flowing.

I watch Haley eat her pizza (and she's right by the way- best pizza in the history of the world) and I find myself wondering again about her. Why is she so different to all the other girls at school? Well, when I say all the other girls, I really mean Brooke…. I picture Brooke in my head and compare her straight, polished dark brown hair to the tangled, auburn mess falling over Haley's shoulders. I compare Brookes sharp, sultry features to Haley's soft, pretty face. Brooke's fashionable, pale green cashmere coat to Haley's plain black wollen coat. I try to imagine Brooke playing with or carrying a 3 year old girl…letting her tug on that glossy hair. I can't see it.

Suddenly a pizza crust hits me on the side of the head.  
"What was that for?" I splutter

"Don't watch me eat." she says grinning. 


	12. Chapter 12

He's here again. I mean he's hanging out with me again.

This should feel so weird. It should feel weird that Lucas Scott,. the most popular guy at Tree Hill High, has spent his weekend hanging out with me- Haley James. But the only weird thing about this is how not weird it feels. 

Not only is Becca (and family) still here, but my brother Phillip decided to pay an impromptu visit along with his fiance Sal and their 5 year old brat of a child Marc.

My mom decided to make the most of this spontaneous family gathering and made us get a picnic ready to take down to the river. And when I opened the door, ready to leave, there was Lucas. Stood on the doorstep, waiting for me. And I wasn't even surprised.

"We're going to the river," I said to him, "wanna come?"

"I don't want to intrude if it's some sort of…family thing…" he said sheepishly

I assured him that he wasn't intruding on anything, and then my mum assured him, and then Becca did the same. I'm sure he just agreed to come because he was completely overwhelmed by the assurance of a bunch of James women.

So here I am, sitting in the shade of a tree. Watching him play basketball with Lori and Marc. He's surprisingly good with kids.

I catch his eye and he waves to me before being dragged back into the game by a jealous and persistent Lori.

He wanders over soon after and collapses on the grass next to me.

"Your nephew and niece are a handful. A good handful…but a handful."

"I think Lori has a crush on you" I whisper to him, nodding over to where Lori is sat with her mom, eyeing us suspiciously.

He smirks as he rolls on to his side to look at me, propped up on his elbow.  
"Well, you can hardly blame her."

I chuckle and lean back against the tree. He smiles, seemingly pleased that he made me laugh. He picks a daisy from the ground and twirls it around in his fingers.  
"Tell me about your family.."

"What all of them? Cos that would take around a century…"

He laughs "Just the ones present if you prefer…"

"Ok…" I look around and Phillip is the first to catch my eye, "Phillip is the oldest of my siblings and he was always the nerdy one in our family,"

"Really?" asks Lucas in mock surprise, "I thought that was you…"

I give him a look but carry on regardless "As I was saying Phil was the nerdy one- I mean the truly nerdy one. In high school he was tiny- really weedy. He had the glasses, the bad hair cut- you name it- he had stereotypical nerd stamped all over him. I don't think he ever got bullied or anything though- he was pretty confident, y'know- one of those obnoxious nerds. Thought he knew everything- still does really…Marc's the same…like father like son I guess. He married Sal pretty much out of college and now he's an accountant"

He smiles and looks over to where Marc is seemingly instructing Lori how to eat a sandwich. Man, I swear that kid actually thinks he rules the earth.  
"Yeah- Marc seems pretty similar to his dad. How about Becca?"

"Becca…there isn't much to tell really…As the oldest of us girls she was kind of our leader. We all looked up to her- me especially. I wanted to be just like her. But in the end I guess it was just because she was the oldest. My sister Taylor was the instigator of pretty much all the mischief when we were kids- Becca just encouraged us all to go along with it."

"Hmmm, Taylor sounds fun- when do I get to meet her?"

Hopefully never- I think to myself. Taylor is prone to hooking up with any guy I have the slightest bit of interest in. But of course I don't say that.  
"Who knows…Taylor's known for her spontaneity. She'll come home and won't leave for a month and when she does leave we might not see her again for a year. Now it's your turn…tell me about your family."

I knew I was treading thin ice mentioning his family but to my surprise he doesn't get defensive. He just sighs deeply and looks straight at me. His clear blue eyes drilling into mine. If I was standing up, my knees would be jello right about now. He reaches over and tucks the daisy he was playing with behind my ear and smiles thoughtfully.

"Well my family is nowhere near as cool as your family. Until I was about 12, I thought my dad was pretty much a god. I guess when you're 12, you don't really see what's going on around you- your dad is your hero and that's it. Then this one night, I think it was the night of my birthday- I'd just had this big party and mom had a headache and didn't clean up. Dad came home and he got so freakin angry- over a few balloons and streamers. He didn't know I was watching but I saw him. He wouldn't stop yelling at my mom and then he raised his hand like he was going to hit her- I was so scared- I actually thought he would. He didn't but that was enough to change the way I saw my dad. Oh and plus, he's constantly reminding me what a waste of space I am."

I look sadly at Lucas who's planted his gaze firmly on the ground. I try to think of something a little less intense to change the subject to.  
"What about your brother? You seem to get along with him…."

He grins "Yeah. Nathan's alright."

I smile. Some boys try and be so subtle about how much they care for people.

He gets up abruptly and holds out his hand to me, gesturing to the court.  
"C'mon. Lets play."

"Ohhhhh no- you do not know how bad I suck at basketball…."

"Whatever…"

"anything athletic in fact- I'm just the worst, I can't throw, I can't.." I'm cut off by a basketball hitting me squarely in the stomach.

I glare at him "Oh you did not…."

He grins mischievously and runs backwards onto the court.  
"C'mon James, what're you scared of?"

I look down at the basketball in my hands…What the hell? I might suck. But it could be fun….

So I run onto the court, and get ready to lose a game of basketball to Lucas Scott. 


	13. Chapter 13

For once, Nathan Scott is not counting the seconds till the end of his bio class. For once he is not tapping his pencil impatiently on the desk or doodling on the cover of his exercise book. But he isn't working either.

He's never noticed Haley James before, but since Lucas mentioned her he's found himself taking an interest.

She sits a row in front of him, two seats to his right. He watches her carefully- not his usual type…but kinda pretty. He tends to go for skinny blondes and blue eyes are always nice. Haley James has brown hair- thick, glossy and obviously unstyled. He hasn't really looked at her eyes yet- he's thinking maybe a dark green.

She turns around to talk to some girl and she catches his steadfast gaze. Brown eyes he notices- kind of a nice golden brown. He keeps his eyes fixed on hers, unfazed that she's caught him looking at her. Nathan isn't easily embarrassed, and he's very competitive. No way is he gonna be first to look away…

She breaks it quickly. He wins- but it's something of an empty victory. He wouldn't have minded keeping the connection for a little while longer.

He wonders if Lucas really is interested in her….then convinces himself no. Lucas can't be interested…he was just asking about her out of curiosity. Besides all his previous girlfriends hadn't been anything like this girl. Look at Brooke for gods sakes! Could Haley James, with her bookish interests and bad dress sense and pretty but completely innocent looks be any more different from the fabulous Brooke Davis? Lucas had his pick of the crop anyway- any girl he wanted could be his in a matter of days. Why would he pick some random girl that neither of them had ever even noticed before. No. Lucas can't be interested he only just broke up with Brooke after all. Not that that seemed to matter- Lucas had been absent from the Scott household for the whole weekend, including the bank holiday Monday. Hanging out with some mystery girl apparently. He had come home on Monday night happier than Nathan had seen him for a long time. Seeing the usually broody Lucas so chipper was a little unnerving for Nate. And since Lucas clearly had someone else on his mind then it wouldn't matter if Nathan was to do something unexpected…ask Haley James to the school formal say…

He had been wondering about who to take for a while. He had broken up with Peyton recently and she was so pissed at him, she probably wouldn't speak to him for weeks, let alone go to a dance with him. Aside from Peyton he couldn't really think of anyone he would like to take, until he noticed Haley James.

Well why not? He could plainly see that she was one of those nice girls. The kind that gave everyone a fair chance and was friendly with most people. She offered to be Jared Binchy's lab partner when he was (as usual) the only one left without a partner. And she did it in a nice way- that made it seem like she was glad to be offering and not doing it out of pity. He didn't know anyone else who would touch Jared Binchy with a barge pole. She was obviously smart and from the conversations he'd had with her when they did group work he knew she was easy to talk to. And funny. And she was very pretty.

"What're you thinking about Nate?" asked Rosemary Malone, the stunning red head Nathan had to blame for his breakup with Peyton. Well, technically it hadn't been completely Rosemary's fault that Peyton had caught them hooking up at Jake's party….but if she had looked a little less hot and worn a few more clothes it would have been a lot easier to resist.

He smirks at her flirtatiously. He swore he'd stay away from girls like Rosemary for a while. But sometimes he just can't help himself.  
"Nothing much. Just who to ask to the formal…"

Rosemary simpers prettily, taking his flirtatious grin to be a hint.  
"Well, no-one's asked me yet…"

Some girls are just so unsubtle Nathan thinks to himself, losing interest in the game already.  
"That's surprising…"

The bell rings and Nathan wants to catch Haley before she gets away. He gets up abruptly, grabbing his bag and jacket.  
"See you round Rose…"

He leaves Rosemary Malone with a shocked expression. She assures herself that he'll ask her to the formal tomorrow- or later on today perhaps.

Nathan walks quickly to catch up with Haley,  
"Hey Haley." he calls out before she can disappear from sight.

She turns and look surprised but not displeased to see Nathan hurrying to catch up with her.  
He hands her a thick notebook.  
"Thanks for the notes…big help…"

She looks confused as she takes them back.  
"Ummm….didn't I lend these to Rosemary? Unless I've had a sudden lapse in memory or something…"

As ever Nathan is unfazed. He's always been the charmer in the family. He grins that famous charismatic grin and replies.  
"Yeah, I was having a bit of trouble so Rose leant me the notes you leant her. Hope you don't mind…"

"No not at all." she smiles gracefully and when he sees that smile, Nathan suddenly finds that he doesn't hold the upper hand in this situation at all.

As he walks away he makes his decision. He's definitely going to ask her to the formal. No question about it. 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 11

So here I am. In my car. On the way to Haley James's house. This is so weird. I've known her for what? Little more than 48 hours? But I just really want to hang out with her. Have you ever had a feeling about someone…and you didn't understand the feeling or where it came from, but it's still there? It's like that. I don't have a crush on her…at least I don't think so….but I don't want to hang out with her just to be her friend, you know?

I knock on the door and when no-body answers I'm actually semi relieved. I wasn't to sure how I would explain my being there. I'm half way down the steps when I hear the door open and I turn around quickly.  
There's Haley….carrying a small child. Could this be? Haley James- teen mom?  
She seems to be able to read my stare and rolls her eyes at me.

"She's not mine you nitwit. My sister and her family are here for the weekend."

"I didn't think she was yours…" I say unconvincingly.

There's a moment of a silence before we both start laughing. I look at the little girl in Haley's arms. She must be about 3, and she's peering shyly up at me. She's adorable- with big green eyes and a halo of auburn curls.

After our laughter subsides there's another moment of silence. A little more awkward this time.  
"I just wondered if maybe you'd want to hang out today?"

A big smile slowly spreads across her face.  
"Come in," she says, "oh, and this is Amy"  
I follow Haley into the house and smile at Amy who's watching me over Haley's shoulder.  
"Hey there Amy.."

She giggles one of those gloriously happy hicupping laughs that only very small children can achieve and buries her head back into Haley's shoulder.

I take in my surroundings. The James household is everything the Scott household isn't. It's warm and friendly. There are family pictures all over the walls and children's toys scattered all over the floor.

She leads me into the big sunny living room. A good looking middle aged woman is sat on the floor playing with another little girl. This one looks a little bit older than Amy and looks a lot different- she's got a thinner face, black curly hair…in fact the only similarity is those big green eyes.

A lady who looks a bit like a slightly older version of Haley sits on one of the big armchairs with a tiny baby cradled in her arms.

"Mom, Becca this is Lucas" Haley says putting Amy down next to the other little girl.

"Hey" I mumble, raising my hand slightly in greeting and giving all the ladies in the room a sheepish smile. I feel so uncomfortable. Not because they're making me uncomfortable….but I guess it's just…I just wanted to hang out with Haley and I seem to have stumbled upon some huge family gathering.

"this is my mom, my sister Becca and her kids- Lori," she gestures to the dark haired girl, "Sam," the baby I'm assuming, "And you've already met Amy."

I wave awkwardly again. God I feel so stupid…

"So you've stumbled into a house full of women…" Becca smiles at me, "Dad and Jerry couldn't hack it, they've gone off to do their manly things. Sammy here's the only real man in our family…" she laughs. She looks at bit like Haley when she laughs. 

"Have a seat Lucas." Haley's mom says as if she's known me forever.

"We're actually gonna go out mom…."

We are? Thank god. Not that I don't like Haley's family…They seem really awesome. Definitely cooler than my family, but I've only just decided I'd like to get to know Haley better…I'm not sure if I'm ready for a full on family get together.

I follow Haley as she goes to get her coat (a plain black woollen one- surprisingly normal for her)  
"So we're headed out?"

"Yea- sorry I didn't ask you, but I just assumed babysitting my sister and her brood wasn't exactly what you had in mind when you suggested hanging out."

I grin, "Not really no."

"So what do you want to do?"

I shrug, "I'm pretty hungry"

She rolls her eyes, "Of course. Typical boy." she grabs a wallet off the side table and that god awful hat, "Let's go to Angelo's"

"Who's Angelo? And not that I have a real problem with it but why, WHY do you wear that hat?"

"Angelo's is an incredible place that makes the best pizza in the history of the world…not that you would know that, as you and your little posse don't tend to venture any further then Starbucks…and I wear this hat because I like it."

I laugh at her playful jibe. I know from her slight smile she's joking. "I resent that…I hate Starbucks and I certainly don't consider myself part of a posse."

She looks me dead in the eye and prods my chest with her index finger.  
"You insult my hat, I insult you….Guess we're even."

I go to get into the car but she tells me we should walk. So we do. It's a 20 minute walk and it flies by. I don't think I've ever met a girl so interesting.

Angelo's turns out to be a small building in a row of shops down a street that I swear I've never seen before…which is weird since Tree Hill is so tiny.

It also turns out to be one hell of a pizzeria and I strongly recommend it.

It's lighting is warm but not dim. I hate restaurants with dim lighting…Brooke loves them, thinks it's romantic or something- she was always dragging me to them…and I promise you- the dimmer the lighting, the more expensive the food. None of the tables and chairs in this place match, it's packed with people and it's loud and noisy- you can hear loud laughter and the clanking of plates coming from the kitchen…everything is ridiculously haphazard- the paintings on the walls range from Monet knock offs to canvas's by unknown artists from Tree Hill. I find myself in love with it immediately. Ever since I can remember, everything in my life has been so freakin orderly. My mom always insists on matching towels and everything in the bathroom has to have the same scent on whatever. That's why I liked Haley's house and that's why I like this place.

Haley walks up to the young guy behind the counter.  
"Hey Haley" he greets her with a shy smile.

"Hey Jeff, you wouldn't have any spare tables would you?"

It just so happens they have one spare table right near the window. Haley's favourite table, weirdly enough.

It takes about 10 minutes to even get to the table as Haley seems to be stopping to greet one of the waiters or the chefs every 5 seconds.  
"So you know these people pretty well?" I ask once we finally get seated.

"Yeah, I guess…we've been coming here since I was like 5."

"Well if it isn't one of the James clan!" A loud voice comes from across the room.

Haley stands up with a huge beam on her face and throws her arms around the owner of the voice…a tall, lean, grey haired man with a heavily lined face, full of character.

After being introduced I figure out the following. The man is called Roberto and owns the restauraunt…an old family friend apparently. He points out a picture on the wall- it's a framed photograph of Haley's family. Once Roberto leaves, Haley points herself out on the picture.

"I was such a runt," she says laughing at the picture, "I wanted to be just like my older sisters…"

Not only do I find myself liking Haley more and more, I also find myself envying her more and more. She has this incredible family. A family who care for and support each other. A family who everybody knows and loves…they have their picture on the wall of a restauraunt for Gods sake….

They have less people in their house then we do in our house but where our house seems empty, their's is over flowing.

I watch Haley eat her pizza (and she's right by the way- best pizza in the history of the world) and I find myself wondering again about her. Why is she so different to all the other girls at school? Well, when I say all the other girls, I really mean Brooke…. I picture Brooke in my head and compare her straight, polished dark brown hair to the tangled, auburn mess falling over Haley's shoulders. I compare Brookes sharp, sultry features to Haley's soft, pretty face. Brooke's fashionable, pale green cashmere coat to Haley's plain black wollen coat. I try to imagine Brooke playing with or carrying a 3 year old girl…letting her tug on that glossy hair. I can't see it.

Suddenly a pizza crust hits me on the side of the head.  
"What was that for?" I splutter

"Don't watch me eat." she says grinning.

He's here again. I mean he's hanging out with me again.

This should feel so weird. It should feel weird that Lucas Scott,. the most popular guy at Tree Hill High, has spent his weekend hanging out with me- Haley James. But the only weird thing about this is how not weird it feels. 

Not only is Becca (and family) still here, but my brother Phillip decided to pay an impromptu visit along with his fiance Sal and their 5 year old brat of a child Marc.

My mom decided to make the most of this spontaneous family gathering and made us get a picnic ready to take down to the river. And when I opened the door, ready to leave, there was Lucas. Stood on the doorstep, waiting for me. And I wasn't even surprised.

"We're going to the river," I said to him, "wanna come?"

"I don't want to intrude if it's some sort of…family thing…" he said sheepishly

I assured him that he wasn't intruding on anything, and then my mum assured him, and then Becca did the same. I'm sure he just agreed to come because he was completely overwhelmed by the assurance of a bunch of James women.

So here I am, sitting in the shade of a tree. Watching him play basketball with Lori and Marc. He's surprisingly good with kids.

I catch his eye and he waves to me before being dragged back into the game by a jealous and persistent Lori.

He wanders over soon after and collapses on the grass next to me.

"Your nephew and niece are a handful. A good handful…but a handful."

"I think Lori has a crush on you" I whisper to him, nodding over to where Lori is sat with her mom, eyeing us suspiciously.

He smirks as he rolls on to his side to look at me, propped up on his elbow.  
"Well, you can hardly blame her."

I chuckle and lean back against the tree. He smiles, seemingly pleased that he made me laugh. He picks a daisy from the ground and twirls it around in his fingers.  
"Tell me about your family.."

"What all of them? Cos that would take around a century…"

He laughs "Just the ones present if you prefer…"

"Ok…" I look around and Phillip is the first to catch my eye, "Phillip is the oldest of my siblings and he was always the nerdy one in our family,"

"Really?" asks Lucas in mock surprise, "I thought that was you…"

I give him a look but carry on regardless "As I was saying Phil was the nerdy one- I mean the truly nerdy one. In high school he was tiny- really weedy. He had the glasses, the bad hair cut- you name it- he had stereotypical nerd stamped all over him. I don't think he ever got bullied or anything though- he was pretty confident, y'know- one of those obnoxious nerds. Thought he knew everything- still does really…Marc's the same…like father like son I guess. He married Sal pretty much out of college and now he's an accountant"

He smiles and looks over to where Marc is seemingly instructing Lori how to eat a sandwich. Man, I swear that kid actually thinks he rules the earth.  
"Yeah- Marc seems pretty similar to his dad. How about Becca?"

"Becca…there isn't much to tell really…As the oldest of us girls she was kind of our leader. We all looked up to her- me especially. I wanted to be just like her. But in the end I guess it was just because she was the oldest. My sister Taylor was the instigator of pretty much all the mischief when we were kids- Becca just encouraged us all to go along with it."

"Hmmm, Taylor sounds fun- when do I get to meet her?"

Hopefully never- I think to myself. Taylor is prone to hooking up with any guy I have the slightest bit of interest in. But of course I don't say that.  
"Who knows…Taylor's known for her spontaneity. She'll come home and won't leave for a month and when she does leave we might not see her again for a year. Now it's your turn…tell me about your family."

I knew I was treading thin ice mentioning his family but to my surprise he doesn't get defensive. He just sighs deeply and looks straight at me. His clear blue eyes drilling into mine. If I was standing up, my knees would be jello right about now. He reaches over and tucks the daisy he was playing with behind my ear and smiles thoughtfully.

"Well my family is nowhere near as cool as your family. Until I was about 12, I thought my dad was pretty much a god. I guess when you're 12, you don't really see what's going on around you- your dad is your hero and that's it. Then this one night, I think it was the night of my birthday- I'd just had this big party and mom had a headache and didn't clean up. Dad came home and he got so freakin angry- over a few balloons and streamers. He didn't know I was watching but I saw him. He wouldn't stop yelling at my mom and then he raised his hand like he was going to hit her- I was so scared- I actually thought he would. He didn't but that was enough to change the way I saw my dad. Oh and plus, he's constantly reminding me what a waste of space I am."

I look sadly at Lucas who's planted his gaze firmly on the ground. I try to think of something a little less intense to change the subject to.  
"What about your brother? You seem to get along with him…."

He grins "Yeah. Nathan's alright."

I smile. Some boys try and be so subtle about how much they care for people.

He gets up abruptly and holds out his hand to me, gesturing to the court.  
"C'mon. Lets play."

"Ohhhhh no- you do not know how bad I suck at basketball…."

"Whatever…"

"anything athletic in fact- I'm just the worst, I can't throw, I can't.." I'm cut off by a basketball hitting me squarely in the stomach.

I glare at him "Oh you did not…."

He grins mischievously and runs backwards onto the court.  
"C'mon James, what're you scared of?"

I look down at the basketball in my hands…What the hell? I might suck. But it could be fun….

So I run onto the court, and get ready to lose a game of basketball to Lucas Scott.

For once, Nathan Scott is not counting the seconds till the end of his bio class. For once he is not tapping his pencil impatiently on the desk or doodling on the cover of his exercise book. But he isn't working either.

He's never noticed Haley James before, but since Lucas mentioned her he's found himself taking an interest.

She sits a row in front of him, two seats to his right. He watches her carefully- not his usual type…but kinda pretty. He tends to go for skinny blondes and blue eyes are always nice. Haley James has brown hair- thick, glossy and obviously unstyled. He hasn't really looked at her eyes yet- he's thinking maybe a dark green.

She turns around to talk to some girl and she catches his steadfast gaze. Brown eyes he notices- kind of a nice golden brown. He keeps his eyes fixed on hers, unfazed that she's caught him looking at her. Nathan isn't easily embarrassed, and he's very competitive. No way is he gonna be first to look away…

She breaks it quickly. He wins- but it's something of an empty victory. He wouldn't have minded keeping the connection for a little while longer.

He wonders if Lucas really is interested in her….then convinces himself no. Lucas can't be interested…he was just asking about her out of curiosity. Besides all his previous girlfriends hadn't been anything like this girl. Look at Brooke for gods sakes! Could Haley James, with her bookish interests and bad dress sense and pretty but completely innocent looks be any more different from the fabulous Brooke Davis? Lucas had his pick of the crop anyway- any girl he wanted could be his in a matter of days. Why would he pick some random girl that neither of them had ever even noticed before. No. Lucas can't be interested he only just broke up with Brooke after all. Not that that seemed to matter- Lucas had been absent from the Scott household for the whole weekend, including the bank holiday Monday. Hanging out with some mystery girl apparently. He had come home on Monday night happier than Nathan had seen him for a long time. Seeing the usually broody Lucas so chipper was a little unnerving for Nate. And since Lucas clearly had someone else on his mind then it wouldn't matter if Nathan was to do something unexpected…ask Haley James to the school formal say…

He had been wondering about who to take for a while. He had broken up with Peyton recently and she was so pissed at him, she probably wouldn't speak to him for weeks, let alone go to a dance with him. Aside from Peyton he couldn't really think of anyone he would like to take, until he noticed Haley James.

Well why not? He could plainly see that she was one of those nice girls. The kind that gave everyone a fair chance and was friendly with most people. She offered to be Jared Binchy's lab partner when he was (as usual) the only one left without a partner. And she did it in a nice way- that made it seem like she was glad to be offering and not doing it out of pity. He didn't know anyone else who would touch Jared Binchy with a barge pole. She was obviously smart and from the conversations he'd had with her when they did group work he knew she was easy to talk to. And funny. And she was very pretty.

"What're you thinking about Nate?" asked Rosemary Malone, the stunning red head Nathan had to blame for his breakup with Peyton. Well, technically it hadn't been completely Rosemary's fault that Peyton had caught them hooking up at Jake's party….but if she had looked a little less hot and worn a few more clothes it would have been a lot easier to resist.

He smirks at her flirtatiously. He swore he'd stay away from girls like Rosemary for a while. But sometimes he just can't help himself.  
"Nothing much. Just who to ask to the formal…"

Rosemary simpers prettily, taking his flirtatious grin to be a hint.  
"Well, no-one's asked me yet…"

Some girls are just so unsubtle Nathan thinks to himself, losing interest in the game already.  
"That's surprising…"

The bell rings and Nathan wants to catch Haley before she gets away. He gets up abruptly, grabbing his bag and jacket.  
"See you round Rose…"

He leaves Rosemary Malone with a shocked expression. She assures herself that he'll ask her to the formal tomorrow- or later on today perhaps.

Nathan walks quickly to catch up with Haley,  
"Hey Haley." he calls out before she can disappear from sight.

She turns and look surprised but not displeased to see Nathan hurrying to catch up with her.  
He hands her a thick notebook.  
"Thanks for the notes…big help…"

She looks confused as she takes them back.  
"Ummm….didn't I lend these to Rosemary? Unless I've had a sudden lapse in memory or something…"

As ever Nathan is unfazed. He's always been the charmer in the family. He grins that famous charismatic grin and replies.  
"Yeah, I was having a bit of trouble so Rose leant me the notes you leant her. Hope you don't mind…"

"No not at all." she smiles gracefully and when he sees that smile, Nathan suddenly finds that he doesn't hold the upper hand in this situation at all.

As he walks away he makes his decision. He's definitely going to ask her to the formal. No question about it. 

I stare up at my bedroom ceiling, deep in thought.

"Who're you gonna ask to the formal? "comes Jakes voice. He's sat on the floor at the foot of my bed playing x-box.

I shrug even though he can't see it.  
"Dunno."

I do kinda know. I've been thinking about asking Haley…but there's so many things to think about. Is it weird to be asking someone I've only really known for like 3 days? Would she be comfortable with it? I mean, would she see it as a more than friends gesture? See I would only be asking her as a friend but would she know that? Do I even see her as only a friend? Would this be confusing and awkward and maybe ruin a friendship that's become so important to me in so little time?

There's so many questions you see. What if she wants to go with someone else? Like that Charlie guy she's always hanging out with…. Maybe she doesn't even want to go with any particular person…maybe she was thinking of a group type date thing. That would be kinda cool.

"You could always go with Brooke… I mean I know you guys are broke up or whatever, but it kinda makes sense…you guys had everything figured out right?"

Correction. Brooke had everything figured out. Brooke loves formals, dances, proms- whatever. Any opportunity to wear a pretty dress and she would be all over it in half a second. She had my tux and her dress picked out in perfectly matching colours 2 months before this dance was even properly announced. Going with Brooke made sense….but…

"I don't think it's such a good idea."

"Fair enough" says Jake. I can hear the shrug in his voice. That's one thing I like about Jake. He takes things at face value. He doesn't constantly need to pick at everything.

If I didn't ask Haley, who would I ask? Peyton's always good for a laugh- would Nate be ok with that? He and Peyt only just broke up…he probably wouldn't care. He had such a casual relationship with Peyton. People only thought it was serious because it went on for so long.

I sometimes wish I was more like Nathan. He'll make a decision as soon as a choice is given to him. I'll mull over it for a long time- always scared of making the wrong decision. Like I said, Nate's the fireball- his impulsive decisions sometimes get him in trouble but more often than not he gets lucky. He doesn't worry about much and because of that, when he gets hurt or gets himself into a mess, he brushes it off quickly and easily. Yeah, being like Nathan would make life so much simpler.

For brothers- we're not very similar at all. I suppose we're both confident. But my confidence is more quiet. Nathan is loud and commands the attention of every room he walks in to. He laughs outright when something amuses him where I'll offer an amused smile. Our style on the court is a lot different to. Coach told me once that where I'm graceful and take my time, Nathan is snappy and his style is full of attitude. When Nate pays attention he can learn promptly and be brilliant, though he loses interest quickly. I have to turn my full attention to things and hate leaving them unfinished. I analyse and pick at things all the time. Maybe that's why I like it when Jake never does.

Overall I know that Nathan is easier to love. He's more charming and he puts himself out there. Something I never do. I hate letting people in. He's the perfect host for a party. Smiley, confident. Full of boldness and attitude. A lot of people would call him cocky. I suppose he is to a certain extent….but not so much that those who know him can't love him for it.

I don't mind being the quietly confident one. It's somehow managed to get me this reputation for being mysterious. But all my life- we've been introduced as "The Scott Brothers"- "This one's the quiet one and this one's the loud one. And they're both good at basketball…"

Maybe that's why Haley's so refreshing. She has no real preconceptions. She doesn't see me as "Lucas- the quiet Scott brother". She seems to be interested in every side of me. When I'm around her I can be charming and loud and I can laugh at her jokes because that role isn't already being played by someone else. I can be my complete self.

So should I ask her? Everything's telling me yes…but there's still that lingering fear of making the wrong choice. I'll wait for a little bit longer….maybe a couple of days. The only other person I can think of asking her would be her friend Charley. And that's alright- I mean their friends- I could still hang out with her for some of the night. Yeah…a couple more days- and then I'll see how I feel…. 

Nathan walks in eating a sandwich. He flops into the chair by the side of my bed and carries on eating.

"What's up with you and Peyton man?" Jake asks, still concentrating on the tv screen.

Nathan swallows his sandwich before answering "Yea we're done."

"Like your usual "done" or actually done?"

"Nah actually done. She's more pissed at me than usual and to be honest I don't really care. So it must be over."

See that- that's Nathan and girls in a nutshell. Someone breaks up with him cos they caught him cheating and he doesn't give a rats ass. Now, please don't get the impression he's some sort of jerk off cos he really isn't. It's just when it comes to girls he's a little immature.

"So who are you gonna ask to the formal?" comes Jake's voice repeating the question he asked me just minutes ago.

"Gonna go stag?" I ask with a chuckle knowing this would never be the case.

"Nah" he answers taking another bite of his sandwich.

He's being weirdly mysterious over this whole thing…usually he'd be bouncing off the walls, telling us who his latest conquest was about to be.

"Then who?" Jake asks with genuine curiosity this time.

Nate taps the side of his nose "I got someone in mind…" he says through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly. 


	15. Chapter 15

Charley gave me and Izzy a ride to school today. It's a rare occasion- his car (1965 dark blue mustang) is his absolute pride and joy. Unlike most 17 year old boys, who would have it out at every opportunity, Charley barely ever drives it. He spends most of his time cleaning it. With good reason I guess- Charley is probably the worst driver in the history of the world- and he knows it. He's incredibly impatient and gets the worst cases of road rage I have ever seen- this combined with his love of speed, doesn't make for a particularly safe driver. 

He was well behaved this morning- knowing that if he wasn't I would freak out. He even ignored Izzy's pleas of "Go faster Charley….pleeeasseee….just for this street- look there isn't even anyone else here…pleeeeasseee". Izzy's just as bad as Charley when it comes to speed- worse in fact. And she's even more dangerous considering she doesn't seem to give a crap about denting her car. She's just luckier than Charley when it comes to crashing and whatnot.

Izzy slams the car door, trapping one of the tassles on her hazardously long scarf in the process.  
"Oh dammit."

I turn to see her tugging on her scarf and laugh.

"Oh yea very funny." Izzy grumbles finally freeing herself from the door and catching up with me and Charley. She's been weird this morning- all grumpy. Definetely not her usual chipper self. Charley seems to have noticed this to.

"What's up your butt?"

Izzy sighs dramatically and tosses that offending scarf over her shoulder. She's gone for boho chic this morning. With faded straight leg Levis tucked into brown knee high flat boots and a pink and purple kaftan type thing.  
"It's the formal at the end of this week and no-one's asked me…I'm thinking of boycotting the whole thing"  
"Sure…just like you were going to attack Eva Bradley with pinking shears last year because she happened to wear the same shade of purple as you at prom?" Charley gives me a sideways grin.

"Or how you were going to picket for animal rights at homecoming the year before because Tara Simpson said she was going to wear real fur?" I add, returning Charley's grin.

"I mean it ok. And if I have to remind you AGAIN- a real homecoming queen would so not support the use of fur for a fashion accessory."

I laugh and wave off my friends to their home rooms.

Come to think of it, it is weird that no-one's asked Izzy to the formal. Crazy she might be, but no-one can deny that she's impossibly pretty. For most of the year our little group is pretty much invisible but when it comes to prom season, or any kind of dance/formal, Izzy suddenly becomes very eligible. Her willowy figure and delicate features become noticeable.

In homeroom I find myself wondering who I'm going to go with.  
Izzy's right- the formal's on Saturday and it's Thursday already. It might sound dumb, but I'd thought after this weekend that maybe Lucas would ask me. Clearly not.

I could go on my own…which would probably be ok…just kind of shameful at first…. I make a list of options on the back of my homework diary.

1. Wait for Lucas to ask me.  
2. Take the next offer that comes up.  
3. Go on my own 4. Not go at all

Well number 4 definitely looks attractive at the moment- but it's not an option, since my mom bought my dress and it didn't really come cheap. Hate to see it go to waste. I feel silly for caring so much but I so don't want to go on my own. As for waiting for Lucas…well that's not very reliable really. So unless the asker is a known serial killer or someone completely off limits…I guess it's number 2.

In bio I decide to make another list.

What constitutes as a completely off limits asker.

1. Serial killer/ anyone who looks vaguely psychotic 2. Someone ridiculously smaller than me (would look silly dancing with them.  
3. Anyone with body odour/ bad breath that can simply not be covered up no matter how much deodorant/ toothpaste is used.  
4. Anyone with overgrown facial hair.

"You forgot someone with contagious and deadly disease." Izzy's voice breaks my concentration. She's looking over my shoulder at the list. I blush. Ok- so the list is stupid- but right now it's all I can think of to help take my mind off this stupid formal.

"You're not the only one without a date Iz." I remind her, putting my jotter away and turning to face her.

"Oh really…what about your thingy thing thing with Mr Lucas Scott?" she says winking at me.

"It's not a thing."

"Sure it is- he keeps coming to your house."

I sigh. If only it were that simple. If only a guy coming to your house to hang out with you meant that he liked you. Not "just friends" liked you, but wants to take you to a formal likes you.

"He'll probably ask you…y'know…by the end of today." she sounds doubtful despite her words- can't say I blame her.

"I seriously doubt it." I reply glumly.

She smiles and pats my cheek.  
"Don't worry mon petite pal…Isabel Van Hogan is -as we all know- champion of the world. And if there's one thing champions of the world know how to do, it's find dates…" she twists up her hair and secures it with a pen "I guarantee we'll both have two spectacular dates by the end of today!"

"I love your optimism" I say grimly.

"Groups of 3" calls Mr Phillips from the front of the class, "Read and discuss pages 82 to 84 of your textbooks."

Do teachers actually think we do that? I mean surely they realise that giving us permission to discuss something in class is never a particularly productive learning outlet.

Regardless of my thoughts on teaching methods, Izzy and I get into a group like usual and to our immense surprise, Nathan Scott drags his stool over to join our us.

"Hi." he says smiling broadly.

Izzy and I look at each other- both completely weirded out.  
"Hi." I reply uncertainly.

So- I've had one or two conversations with Nathan Scott but I wouldn't call him a friend. He's an acquaintance at most. Certainly not someone who would put himself in a group with me and Iz when he could go with some of his jock buddies. Or Rosemary.

And yet here he is.  
We try and discuss what we're supposed to but sooner or later we lapse back into general conversation, figuring the best thing to do is ignore Nathan. And of course general conversation is steered round to the thing at foreground of everybody's mind.

"I just don't understand," complains Izzy twirling her pencil around in her long elegant fingers, "it's not just that I don't have a date, it's that no-one's asked me. No-one!"

Now let's just pause this moment for a second- Izzy might be starting to sound a little self absorbed- trust me when I say, she really isn't. She doesn't care about things like popularity or her looks. And she isn't just one of those people who just SAYS she doesn't care. She actually doesn't. And she isn't vain at all. It's just that she's always been beautiful and she's always been the first to be asked out- so obviously, it would seem a little weird to her that no-one's asked her.

"Izzy, you'll get a date. You always do. Me on the other hand…"

Nathan who's been relatively quiet till this point suddenly joins in the conversation.  
"How about you come with me?"

It's not until I see Izzy frantically nodding at me behind Nathan that I realise the question was directed at me. This is too weird. I don't even know Nathan Scott. Saying yes would be silly and irrational and probably turn out to be the stupidest thing I could possibly do.

"Um…well…I…um" I stutter. I'm too shocked to even form actual words.

I'm about to attempt a "No" when I see Izzy holding my jotter above Nathan's head and pointing to my first list. More specifically "Number 2- Take the next offer that comes up."

I hesitate. Lucas. The name just keeps revolving round my brain, telling me to say no. But let's be honest here- it's not gonna happen is it? I've just been kidding myself. Lucas wants a friend in me and nothing else….. So I figure…what the hell? Nathan's cute and….I'm sure there's something else… "Lucas' brother" my brain says in a sing song voice…SHUT UP BRAIN…What harm could it do…really?

I raise my eyes to meet Nathan's sharp blue ones.  
"Um….sure…why not?"


End file.
